What’s Your Sign?….. STOP! DO NOT ENTER!

Well now we all know that it’s tough for most guys to approach a girl just to talk to her. Now you could ask any guy you want and more than likely they will tell you that it is difficult to approach a girl at a bar, a party, a grocery store, etc. If they say it’s not then they are telling a lie. Now for some it may be easier than for others, but in the end it is still not an easy task.

I, for one, have never been the type to approach girls at social events. It’s just not my style to do that kind of thing. In all honesty I am relatively shy in these types of settings. (Yes I know shocking to some of you.) However, I have never been one to approach a girl at a bar, club, party, etc. In all my years of visiting “watering holes” I can safely say that I have approached about four girls in all. (Now of course this does not include the times I have been the wingman and let my buddy do all the dirty work prior to me joining the conversation) I am talking strictly about myself walking up to a random girl at a bar and trying to strike up a conversation.

Now with all that being said guys. We have all come across a time when we thought we had the girl “in the bag”. We thought that we were on easy street, but then something went wrong. I, personally, have never had a girl reject me outright. (ok ok so yes I have been rejected out right on a few occassions.) And that story goes like this…..

I was at a club in San Diego, California. The girl approached me and we started to talk. I bought her a drink and everything seemed to be flowing just right. Her and I talked for a good 30 minutes. We talked about everything, we exchanged phone numbers, and even planned to leave that night together. We hugged. We kissed. And then she proceeded to ask me the following question: “What kind of car do you drive?”

Now for some this might not seem like a “deal breaker” asking that kind of question. And at that time, in my eyes, it really didn’t mean much until I realized after I answered the question. I looked at her and said “Are you serious?” and she said, “Absolutely!” Now at that time a million thoughts and questions were going through my mind, but I decided to answer the question.

I said, “I drive a Civic EX with 18″ alloy wheels, tinted windows, and a 6 disc CD changer.” (Now realize that was me being sarcastic, simply because what girl in her right mind asks a guy what kind of car he drives upon first meeting? Who the fuck cares?) The girl then looks me up and down and says, “Well I really need to get back to my girls. It was fun chatting with you. Have a great night.”

Ummmmm..wait a second what just happened? I got rejected because of the car I drive. I guess that is what I get for living in San Diego. Now that is just one way a guy can get rejected and then we have others. I enlisted the help of some of my female friends to see what they say to a guy if they don’t want to have sex with them. After I got a couple of responses from my friends I began to think that “Wow, I too have heard those same responses.” And here I thought that the girl just really didn’t want to have sex, but in actuality she was coming up with an excuse so that she “didn’t hurt my feelings”. (Really? just tell me point blank. You really aren’t going to hurt my feelings. Cause in the end I probably really didn’t want to have sex with you anyways. I was horny, you have a va jay jay and tits and at that moment they all looked good and I wanted them. In other words you were FEMALE!)

Well here are a couple of responses that I got from my female friends:

“I said I didn’t want to ruin the friendship, to spare his ego!!! I’ve also done the ignoring approach, of course they get more stalkerish when you ignore, or just flat out say I have a boyfriend, when I clearly don’t!!!! Alot of times I just say I’m just not that into you!!!” (Now if a guy does get rejected and keeps on coming back for more then he truly is “stalkerish” and should be dealt with accordingly…i.e. pepper spray….. and guys if you hear “I’ve got a boyfriend” after you have been talking to the girl for 20-30 mins then do yourself a favor and just walk away.)

“To avoid sex (in the moment)…it’s always “that time of the month” or I haven’t shaved my legs or my heart is somewhere else and I don’t want to ruin the friendship. If I want to keep the guy a friend, then that’s what I say but otherwise, I just get out of the moment and just don’t respond to him again…if he keeps persisting then I’ll maybe send a text that I’m seeing someone else.” (“That time of the month”, I have heard that on a few occasions and in principal it will usually work. I can get over the “I haven’t shaved my legs” comment. After all your legs aren’t  really what I am after. I have also gotten the “ruin the friendship” thing before. It’s ok I completely understand. I know deep down inside you are going home and pulling out your toy and fantasizing about “ruining our friendship”.)

In the end, the one I heard the most from my female friends was, “It’s that time of the month” or “Aunt Flow is visiting” or (not for the squeamish) “I’m bleeding like a stuck pig right now”. That is the girls way of getting a guy to run the other way. Well most guys would run from that, but then I know a few that would say “Yeah so? What’s your point? Let’s do this!”

Personally, I would rather a girl just be completely honest with me and let me know from the beginning. Rest assured we all know that chemistry must be there for something to happen, but with guys we can pretty much make chemistry out of nothing if we are really horny. So ladies just realize that rather than beating around the bush with us, just tell us the truth. If you know for a fact that you aren’t going to polish our knob in any way, shape, or form then tell us that. Don’t give us some bullshit line of “that time of the month”, “I have a boyfriend”, etc.

Until Next Time,
Spiral Out



7 thoughts on “What’s Your Sign?….. STOP! DO NOT ENTER!

Add yours

  1. Hmmm, Honesty – now there’s a thought! : ) I’ve never picked a guy up and had or tried to have a one night stand, it’s not my style. And I’m turned off or laugh at any guy who tries. So I actually always tell guys they aren’t getting any and why.

    But I will admit to telling a guy I have dated casually a few time, who I know isn’t “it” that I still have feelings for an ex or some such thing. Because I don’t want to hurt his feelings by telling him the real reason I’m not going out with him anymore.

    Think of it this way – if a girl goes to the trouble of coming up with an excuse as to why she isn’t seeing you anymore, she thinks you are a good guy and is trying to not hurt your feelings.

    1. It’s not my style either to try or do the whole one night stand thing. I think that if it gets to the point of being turned down for sex, on any side (guy or girl) then the two involved are not being honest with each other. I think that girls for the most part know within about five minutes if they would sleep with the guy they are talking to. Now when it comes to guys, well most would probably sleep with anything that has two legs and talks like a girl….LOL

  2. “Now when it comes to guys, well most would probably sleep with anything that has two legs and talks like a girl…”

    Here in SF that could have unexpected and disturbing results! hahahah!

    I have the expectation that either party has the right to exercise an escape clause up to the final transaction. Unless any previous conditions are binding, each party is under no obligations for any future business unless both parties are in full agreement.

    The real question is do you leave while she’s still alseep sparing her of that awkward morning realization of the previous nights activities or man up and face any circumstance that may occur?

    1. Well now of course it all depends on how it’s gotten to this point of thinking that sex may be an option. You are right in the either party should always have an “escape clause” at any given point. However, I think this post mainly deals with one night stands or couples that have gone on a few dates. With that being said though I can tell if there is chemistry between myself and the girl I’m dating after the first date. I know, for the most part, if I want to sleep with her at that point. And I can usually tell if the feeling is mutual as well. I don’t set myself up for rejection anymore. I’ve grown older and wiser. The story in my original post was almost 10 years ago. If the chemistry isn’t there with a girl that I’ve gone on a date with then I chalk it up to a learning experience, move on, and then go home and take care of business myself. LOL
      As far as leaving while she’s asleep or waking up with her next to you in the morning…..Well that would mean it was probably a one night stand and liquor was involved so it probably would be best to sneak out. But since one night stands have never been my style (that doesn’t mean I haven’t had one or two…ok maybe three…) I would always give her the courtesy and stay the night and wake up with her if thats what she wanted. Now I’ve had friends that have been kicked out by the girl as soon as they were done having sex. He wanted to cuddle and she said “That’s cute, but get the fuck out!” LMAO

  3. Ok so are you saying my tactic of laughing hysterically at the guy is wrong???? That switch that most women have the flips in their brains that says this is a delicate situation so please let him down easy must not work on me….. Therefore laughing like I just escaped a insane asylum or just ignoring him is probably my only options…. I have also responded with “Dude SERIOUSLY????” before.

  4. My problem is that I am afraid to offend anyone so I usually just tend to ignore the guy or just say I already have a boyfriend. I even thought about putting me ring back on and say that I am married! But sometimes I am caught in situations I don’t know how to avoid like the other day…

    So the other day I was at Starbucks working on my laptop and a guy sat down next to me with his Mac. Because of the limited power points the regulars know where to sit basically and on the other side of me was a bunch of girls who knew him and they keep exchanging words with me in the middle. At some point he apologized.
    Then he said: I would like to invite you for a drink?
    I just smiled and carried on with my work.

    Then he put his iPhone on the seat ready for m to enter my number… I could have tried a fake number but he sent me a text the next second he saved my text.

    So I agreed to go on for a drink. As I said to a friend of mine: what the heck, it’s not like I have much to do and I would not mind a drink!

    We talked about me because he wanted to know about me for about 30mn then he just said:
    -I want to have sex with you.
    I was quite surprised that he could be so blunt about it and I was speechless. So he carried on:
    -I want to have sex with you every day!
    -Well I might be bad in bed you never know I replied.
    -I would teach you how to be good so you would have sex with me everyday!
    I told him I was not interested at all.
    – so why did you accept to have a drink? he asked me
    -Because I don’t know many people in London and I thought maybe, just maybe, a guy for once would invite a girl just for the sake of it. You don’t even know me!
    -Well why don’t we go to my place and can get to know each other better!

    I told him off and he actually apologized in the end. I have not heard from him since though I do occasionally see him at Starbucks where he politely says hello to me.

    1. What at first seemed like a very confident man, putting his phone down for you to enter his number, turns out to be a complete moron. It’s guys like this that give the rest of the male population a bad name when they pull some stunt about asking a woman for sex in this way.

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