Preface: If you couldn’t tell from my other post or my facebook I really did like this girl. Do I still like her? On some levels yes I do. (I can’t lie about that.) She’s got a lot going for her. I could sit here and talk shit about her but that is not what I am about. In the end she is a great girl and just needs to figure out what she wants. Do I take some of the blame for how things turned out? Absolutely….I tend to give to much of myself way to quickly. However, with that being said I do this because the feelings are mutual and are reciprocated back to me. What I need to do is learn to hold back the way I feel or think rather than putting all of my cards on the table at one time. I’m not going to change who I am through all of this. I won’t apologize to anyone for the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve. Take it or leave it. If you don’t take it then get the fuck out of here. This is who I am!
The moment that you that you all have been waiting for…..Without further adieu I bring you the latest installment of my dating life. (I really need to start charging all of you for living vicariously through me. No really I do! LOL)
So my last post (which has since been un-published) was about meeting a great girl (“T”) and hitting it off the first time we met. Now I’m not going to sit here and say that “T” is not a great girl. Despite all that has transpired I still think that she is a great girl (albeit a little twisted in the head, but then again that’s how I like them!)
I’m not sure many of you remember my last post about “T”, but I will give you the short version. I met her on a site called Okcupid.com. We talked for about two weeks and then decided to meet. I went over to West Palm Beach to visit for the weekend. (Don’t worry I got my own hotel room just in case the chemistry wasn’t there. I really wasn’t worried about the chemistry she had for me because ummm hello this is me we are talking about…I was more worried about me having chemistry with her!)
We both said the connection and chemistry was instant the moment we met face to face. Some of you probably even saw the pictures on my Facebook. I met her core group of friends and they too said the connection was instant. (After all why wouldn’t it be instant this is me we are talking about here.) I was invited to come up for her birthday party as well. (Come on now who wouldn’t want me at their birthday party?!?!?!?!)
After I left the first weekend “T” and I continued to talk, text, and email on a daily basis. I could sit here and post all the emails and text messages that were sent back and forth and you would wonder what the fuck happened? It’s really mind boggling to me. Does it hurt on some levels? Absolutely it does. (I will be alright because obviously she just wasn’t ready and talked a big game, but wasn’t ready to finish the game.)
All the signs were there. We talked about wanting a relationship. (Not necessarily with each other but just in general… I know what all of you are thinking now….. Chad in a relationship really???) She told me how much she enjoyed hearing from me through text messages, emails, facebook, etc.
At one point I sent her a text saying that I didn’t want her to feel like I was “smothering” her with the constant communication. Her reply was that she enjoyed every minute of it and that it was a welcome change from the past. (If a girl that I like tells me that she likes/enjoys something then I’m going to listen and do it.)
So for two weeks we sent texts, phone calls, emails to each other. I had a countdown on Facebook to when I would see her again. She ate all of this up. I wish I could play voicemails that she left me. On one particular one she left a message that she was just calling to say hi and I didn’t have to call her back because she just wanted to hear my “sexy voice”. (This would not be the first time that I’ve been told that I have a sexy voice….I know I know stroke that ego Chad…….this particular message was on May 5th the day before I went over there for her birthday weekend.)
So by that rational there were no signs of anything that was wrong between the two of us. I got there on Friday night. We stayed up drinking and decorating for her birthday party…..and well of course some “extra-curricular” activities until 5am. Then we woke up and continued those activities until about 11am. (I’m not trying to toot my own horn here simply cause I really don’t need to..LMAO…but just trying to give you a picture of what the weekend was like.)
We get up finally and head out to finish the errands for the party. (Although we talked about staying in bed all day and saying “fuck it” for her party…lmfao….yes I am that good…hahahahahaha) Her best girlfriend comes over to help finish decorating. The three of us start drinking at around 3ish. (No big deal for me…I’m a professional I do this all the time.) Her friend leaves for about 20 minutes and “T” and I take care of business one last time before the party. (I know you really wanted to read about that detail….I’m just trying to get the point across as to how everything was between myself and “T”) Everything seemed to be rolling along just fine. Finally people start showing up for the party around 9ish/10ish. Now one would think that if the guy you are dating drives three hours to see your ass that you would be paying attention to him at some point of the evening.
Well this night not so much. See “T” and her best girlfriend “J” have this little thing they like to do when they party. They like to make out. (Yeah Yeah guys just love to see two hot chicks suck each others face….It’s great in a porn, but in reality it really does nothing for me!) Now I’ve seen this before, but this was back in my college days. When you’re in your early to mid 30’s you need to stop this kind of nonsense, especially if you have a guy there that you are dating and thinking about a relationship with. Now with that being said I knew about this and said I was ok with it. All I said was that if you’re gonna give her some lovin’ then you gotta find me and give me some lovin’ too.
Well on her party night this never happened. It was almost to the point that where ever I went at the party “T” made sure she wasn’t. (Now if I have the girl I’m dating at my party I would hope that she could mingle amongst my friends throughout the night. Just like I was mingling with all of her friends throughout the night. However, I would make sure that I would come back and hang with her for a little bit and show her some lovin’……)
So to wrap up a very long night….(And for the record I will admit that I was ummmm extremely intoxicated on this night….) Basically I was treated as though I wasn’t even there at the party by “T”. So Sunday morning comes and we get up and start to clean. She has nothing to say to me at all. I finally stop cleaning and ask her point blank, “Did I piss you off or make you mad last night at some point?” Her response was, “No, but you were kind of being “clingy”!” I said, “I was being clingy?” She saids “Yes, but I don’t want to fight about or talk about it.” (Ok I’m sorry but a guy you are dating and have already told that you took your dating profile off-line, love hearing from him on a daily basis, don’t want to talk to other guys or see other guys and you tell him he was “too clingy”????? Really???? Oh thats right you want to go make out with your little girlfriend instead…my bad!)
So finally we finish cleaning up and I said that we needed to talk. She told me at this point that she had no intention of talking to or seeing other guys, but that she needed some space. (Ummm hello I live on the opposite coast from you …. how much fucking space do you need?) So I pack up my shit and I leave.
I sent her a text when I got home to say I made it home safely and asked if we could talk. Her reply was “I told you I needed space. This doesn’t feel like space Chad. We will talk but I’d rather wait.”
Well needless to say that talk never happened. It was through text message and through email. I will be 35 years old here in three weeks. I don’t communicate through text messages and emails when it comes to serious shit. If you want to have a discussion or talk then pick up the damn phone and talk to me about everything….In the end she said that I was smothering her and she couldn’t deal with it. Ohhhh and at one point she also said that “It was too soon to be having this type of conversation.” So ummmm wait let me get this straight….We had sex in many different positions,(Yes I know too much information for most of you..however; I have to get my point across…LMFAO) but yet it’s too soon to be having a serious conversation about what is going on between us…..
So moral of the story…………Listen ladies. If you want a relationship and you tell a guy this then follow through with it. If you tell a guy you want to hear from him on a daily basis through text messages, phone calls, and emails then don’t get all crazy about it and tell him he’s smothering you. The two of you are building a relationship. And if you think he is smothering you then pick up the God damn phone and tell him that he is. Don’t play games with him and expect him to read your mind. After all you already told him you liked hearing from him this much. If you aren’t ready for a relationship then DO NOT pretend you are. If all you want is a penis then go to a bar and pick up some guy and have your way with him. Guys don’t need you to feed him lines in order for him to sleep with you. If you want to fuck then tell him and he will. Don’t beat around the fucking bush about it…..You have two options…..A) You just want to fuck… or B) You want a relationship… there’s no grey area….. just be straight up with the guy and everything will be fine!
Until Next Time,
P.S. Question for all of you…… When does dating become a relationship? If two people talk about wanting a relationship and then they sleep with one another is there an “un-official” title of the two of them being together? If you know it’s not a one night stand and the two of you have a connection of some sort and have talked about said connection shouldn’t you just jump in and see if the relationship could work? When does dating turn into boyfriend/girlfriend?