Preface: This blog is a little more serious on some levels. It is not for the faint of heart. It deals with my life and my thoughts on some deeper levels….Oh wait who am I kidding…it’s just me spilling my thoughts, feelings, and emotions out once again. Perhaps not much comedy in this one for you to laugh at me errr I mean with me…but nonetheless its me in the raw….. sometimes these things just come to me…. I feel the need to write and this is what I puke up through my fingers onto the computer…..so sue me! 😛 Happy Reading!!!
Now for those of you that have been reading my blog this may come as a shock to you. Don’t worry though I will still come up with things to blog about. At this time I have decided to take a break from all of the dating non-sense that has been going on in my life. (I know I know it’s heart breaking to many of you that live vicariously through me) It’s time I do this. Why you ask?
Well it’s very simple. I’ve been looking to hard. I’ve been searching for “the one.” There are those times that it’s been sitting in front of you the entire time and you don’t even know it or you are just too stupid to realize it. I’ve been trying way to hard and giving myself whole heartedly way to soon. (No I’m not saying I’ve been some sort of whore you assholes! I’ve just been throwing my feelings and emotions into things way to quickly and expecting a different result.) Some have said that it comes off as being desperate….well to that I say… I’m the last person that is desperate. It’s not a desperation thing by any means. (I’d much rather be alone than with someone that is being fake and blowing smoke up my ass….LOL) However, it does get lonely at times when you see people around you having the things that you think about and/or want for yourself.
And on a completely selfish personal level…. I need to take the time to do what is right for me! I’ve been skating through life just going through the motions. (This may sound way egotistical to some of you, but it’s the truth) I’m far to smart and far to talented to just skate through life. Perhaps I’ve come to a cross roads in my life and am actually having a “semi-mid life” crisis. (Considering I’ll be 35 in 3 weeks. WTF??? 35 How the hell did I get here?????)
What I have come to realize is that you can’t expect to find “the one” or “love” by looking for it. It finds you! It finds you when you least expect it and when you aren’t looking for it. My sister told me the other night that when she met her future husband she wasn’t expecting that at all. All she thought was that she would get a free dinner out of the blind date. (And mind you this was a true blind date. She had no idea what he looked like nor did he know what she looked like) Needless to say they’ve got a kick ass marriage and produced my kick ass niece, Taylor. (I’m still not quite sure how they “produced” her because I don’t want to think about that kind of thing. I just call it immaculate conception between the two of them! LOL)
Now of course with that being said I still think that Florida is filled with a bunch of crazy women. Perhaps it’s the sun and the humidity that fucks with their brain from time to time. Some would say that perhaps I am the reason that they are all crazy. Well to that I say… You do have a point there, but in all reality it’s them not me! (Ok on some levels perhaps it is me, but really??? All of them are nuts! They say one thing and they mean another!)
The reality is that I’ve been living my life at 200 MPH over roughly the last three years.(Ok so maybe over the last 15 years or so….It all depends who you ask…..) It’s time that I slow it down a bit. I’ve got to make some changes here. Now this in no way means that I’m going to stop being me. I’m still going to do what I do, take it or leave it, love it or not. It’s my life and I will live it the best way I know how. (Although my liver probably wants a little guidance for me…just saying) I’m still going to say things that may shock you. I’m still going to do things that many of you don’t agree with or understand. That’s why it’s my life and not yours. (Although I will take advice from my friends from time to time. I may not agree with said advice and I may not take it….but I will listen to it and then probably tell you that you are f*cking crazy….LMAO)
We all make decisions in our lives that at that moment seems to be the best decision, but in actuality it may not be. But we learn from our mistakes and become a better person for it. I have taken the “road less traveled” on many levels, but I would not be the person I am today without those “roads less traveled.” Do I have regrets? Absolutely I do. However; I told myself a long time ago that I can’t live my life on regrets. Regrets are just mistakes that we have made in our lives that we need to learn from and become a better person from those mistakes.
Now some may think that I share too much here on my blog. I’ve heard that from a few different people. To that I say….I’m not afraid to share anything about my life. I’m an open book probably to a fault on some levels. It just comes down to me being me. This is who I am. I have no problems sharing with my friends what I think and what I believe. If I lose some of you along the way then so be it.
What it comes down to is this…. This blog is therapeutic for me on some levels. I’ve got plenty more to write about so I’m not going anywhere. (Although some of you probably would wish that I would just shut up already…..sorry I’m not going to…LOL)
Until Next Time,