So have any of you ever left something that you loved so much, that was all you really ever knew? Something that you were born and raised in? And just packed up your stuff and high tailed it out of there? Have you ever dealt with the struggle of wanting to go back to something that you knew would not give you the answers that you wanted?

Well that is where I am at in my pursuit of coming back to California. It’s not about coming back because most of my friends are there. It is because I really do love California that much. I have been gone for almost seven years. I made my trip to my 20 year high school reunion back in August of 2014. As I flew in over the 405 freeway and saw the bumper to bumper traffic I realized that I should never have left that. I know it may sound weird to all of you that live there every day, but for me it is different.

I miss the days that I could get in my car and drive down PCH. I miss the days of being able to jump in my car and head to Zuma beach. I miss the days of riding around in Thousand Oaks and Westlake Village. I miss the days of being in San Diego with nothing to do and calling up a friend and heading to PB Bar and Grill. I miss the days of being able to tell people I am from California. And then telling them that I am from Los Angeles/San Diego. I miss the days of being able to fly up to Oakland during football season and see my beloved Raiders play. I miss the days of being able to call up some of my closest friends and plan a random get together.

There is something about California that most people do not understand, unless you are from there. Especially Southern Cali. California is a special place and takes a special type of person to be able to deal with the stigma that is California. Just like it takes a special person to live in New York City….
I have heard it plenty of times, “All the crazy people live in California!” To that I say, “No the only crazy people are the ones that move to California.”

California, especially So Cal, is not for the faint of heart…. It can and will eat you up and spit you out. It is not what you see on TV.  The 90210’s and Housewive’s shows do it no justice. That is not California. Those shows paint a picture of what they want you to see. It is not that by any stretch. California has heart, scars, beauty, pain, and history.

California is not perfect at all. No place is perfect. However, California is perfect for me. I can get lost in Southern California. There is nothing like Ocean Beach down in San Diego. There is nothing like Venice Beach. There is nothing like Westlake Village.

Will I ever make it back to California? More than likely I will not. However, the dream is there that one day I will make California my home again. There are a few things in my life that I love…..My family (Mom, Jim, Dad, Wendy, Heather, Jody, Taylor, and Raider) And of course California. She will always be in my heart and part of my soul.

Some of you may not understand any of this. Many of you will think I am absolutely crazy. (We all know the crazy part was established a long time ago…..) That is ok in my eyes. With all of this being said I leave you with this:

“Calling California is there anybody home
Hello California won’t you please pick up the phone
I wanna say I love you but I’m a million miles away
And I am thinking of you, I miss you and LA

For you and you alone I’ll lay my monsters down
And we’ll watch the sun come up over California
For you and you alone I’ll find my way back home
And I’ll love you like the sun loves California
You’re my California”

California will always be my home. And one day her and I will reconnect in order to make me whole again. 

Until Next Time,

Spiral Out


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